My Personal Take on Expectations

Since launching jennifermeister.com, I have really taken a step towards deeper vulnerability on my blog. I feel it is so important to let you know the truth - the reality of my life - as it pertains to health and wellness.

Being honest actually helps others feel OK that life is NOT a bowl of cherries inherently. But… we can believe that we can make choices to get as close as possible to that bowl! Although, at some moments the cherries may be juicy, glistening, and simply mouth watering… and other times we might find those cherries to be bruised, a bit rotten, and inedible!

This takes me to the Holiday Season. ’Tis the season to be jolly! ...Or sometimes not as jolly as we expected. Am I right!?

So, if you’re like me, we roll into the holidays with the expectation of delicious food, warm and fuzzy laughter, hugs, kisses, speaking nicely to one another, no judgement, no speaking behind others backs, and wanting everyone to overstay their time together because this year will be over-the-top FUN!

Has anyone ever had a holiday that actually worked out just like that? If yes, then PLEASE give me the secret prescription!

If no, then you are not alone!

It’s funny that the things we want most -- like peace, connection & fun -- we sabotage the most by expecting others to act, behave and deliver the way in which we think they should.

That is what I call unrealistic expectations!

Most of us are accustomed to fixating on the negative aspects of a situation, which only keeps us mired in weariness and attracts more negativity into our lives.

I, too, do lots of expecting from others. Although in recent years I have taken steps to notice and be aware of exactly what expecting just a little too much does to me:

Lots of disappointment…

which leads to resentment…

which leads to anger…

that builds and builds….

which can lead to over-eating, drinking, reacting and possibly retreating….

Sound familiar?

The truth is: When we expect from others, it is just a projection that we expect too much from ourselves.

Once again…

When we expect from others, it is just a projection that we expect too much from ourselves.

expectation exercise

So, as we move deeper into the holiday season, I am offering you a way to become a bit more aware of your expectations so they don’t lhijack your holiday!

Grab a pen and paper.

Choose 3 people and list them.
1.

2.

3.

Once you list them, write down:

What do you expect from each of them?

1.

2.

3.

Then ask yourself: Do you expect the same or similar from yourself?

If you expect the same or similar from yourself… then ask yourself:

Do you always meet your own expectations?

It’s a wake-up call to soften what we expect from others.

We can not expect from others what we don’t become aware of ourselves.

Here are some examples:
1. Expecting your teenager to eat healthy when you don’t yourself (at least all the time).
2. Expecting your mother not to judge when you do yourself.
3. Expecting your husband to respond gently to you when you don’t respond gently to yourself.
4. Expecting a friend to stop gossiping when you do it yourself.

I love this exercise because it puts some of my old habits and patterns into perspective.  

What is the result of this practice? A softer, simpler, gentler way of life.

(As I always say, it’s a practice -- continual, not a one time thing!)

This gentler way of thinking about others hopefully will resonate as we move into our gatherings and interactions with family/friends.

Thus, allows us to release the expectations of not only them, but of ourselves too.

This holiday season starts NOW! Make the commitment to get to know yourself and others better while expecting less.

Let’s enjoy what really IS… instead of creating unrealistic expectations that will only suck our holiday joy.